Lessons from a recent "graduate"

For the past year and a half, I’ve been working as Rhonda’s assistant, helping to make our clients’ wedding dreams come true. During this time, I’ve also been planning my own wedding and have been learning all the tricks of the trade to make sure my own wedding was perfect. My wedding was on August 14 and it turned out even better than I could have imagined. Now that I’ve had some time to reflect on the day, and have “graduated” from being engaged to being married, Rhonda asked if I would be willing to share some of my experiences. Here are the four most important lessons I learned throughout my planning process.

1. No one is going to be as excited about your wedding as you are. Of course, your friends and family are likely thrilled for you and your fiancé and are excited to help you with the planning. But keep in mind, even the most dedicated loved ones are going to get to the point where they simply can’t talk anymore about the relative benefits of peonies over roses, whether you should have fondant or buttercream icing or if you should invite your boss or not. Remember that your friends and family have other things going in their lives too, and while they are excited and happy for you, they want to be able to talk about what’s going on with them and have the same kind of interactions with you as they did before you got engaged. Make sure to keep up with your friends and family and if need be, schedule “wedding breaks” where you agree not to talk about the wedding while you go out and do something fun.

2. Get good vendors. Your vendors can make or break your wedding day. Make sure you choose people that listen to you, that you enjoy working with and make sure to ask for lots of samples of their work. Do not skimp on vendors and settle for someone you’re not entirely comfortable with. It will make all the difference in the world.

3. Say Thank You. If you’re like me, as you get closer to the wedding, you might find yourself asking for more and more help, and those requests may not always be entirely reasonable (take it from me – they’ll seem reasonable to you at the time, but after you’re married and are able to step back from the craziness, you’ll be amazed at everything your family and friends did for you!). Make sure to thank the people who help you – and really mean it. It sounds obvious, but you might not realize what you’re asking of someone. At least let them know that you really appreciate what they’re doing.

4. Relax! We’ve all seen the movies (or perhaps the episodes of Bridezillas) where the bride is getting ready for her big day and has a panic attack, or starts yelling at her bridesmaids and family for no apparent reason. Don’t feel like this is the norm or what’s expected. YOU’RE GETTING MARRIED!!! HAVE FUN!!! Relax with your closest friends – joke, goof around, munch on your favorite snacks and get excited for what’s to come. Hug, laugh, dance, cry tears of joy and treasure every moment. If you’re able to relax, you’ll be able to take everything in so much more than if you’re stressing about last minute details. I’ve been married for over a month already and I’m still basking in the glow of how amazing my wedding was. Your wedding day is going to go by so quickly and you want to be able to enjoy every minute. Don’t waste time by stressing or freaking out. If something goes wrong, deal with it calmly and with grace. Some things are going to be out of your control but that doesn’t mean it has to ruin your wedding day. Resolve the issue as best you can, ask for help if you need it, and get back to the celebrations! You only get one shot at this so relax and let yourself be surrounded by the love and happiness of your family and friends.

Until next time, happy planning…