Happy Holidays!!

Hi everyone reading this blog! I just wanted to say Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanzaa, and Happy New Year!!!

I hope all of you out there were able to relax and enjoy the holidays with your family and friends!

Until next time, happy planning...

Choosing the Perfect Date

Since I'm assuming that you're reading this blog because you are engaged, the title of this week's post is referring to when you're going to get married - not to whom!

For some couples, choosing when to have their wedding is easy. Some couples have a special anniversary that they want to cement. Others know that their school or work schedules will only allow for a certain period of time in which to celebrate.

For others, selecting a date can be more difficult. I try to help them narrow down the choices by asking questions about their preferences -- Do they absolutely hate the heat? Then, the summer months are out. Do they have guests travelling to their wedding via airplane? Then, skip the winter when the weather can be more iffy.

Sometimes, we will go to various venues and if the couple falls in love with one of them, they will ask the venue's availability and select from those dates. Or, they may be members of a church and ask when the priest has openings to perform the wedding. Couples also may choose their date based upon "how" the date sounds -- 7/7/07 was a very popular wedding date!

Just remember, no matter which date you choose, you will always remember it!

Until next time, happy planning...

'Tis the time to ... Get Engaged!

Congratulations!! The "engagement season" is in full swing -- more engagements happen between Thanksgiving and New Year's than any other time during the year. I, myself, got engaged on December 13th many moons ago!

So, now you've already said "Yes!!" to your fiance (get used to that term!), received a ring, and told your family and friends the great news. You're basking in the newly-engaged euphoria. And you should! This is a great time for you and your honey -- treasure it!

Because, soon enough, you will get the inevitable questions: "So, when's the date?" "Where are you having your reception?" And many other like questions offered by well-meaning family members and close friends. Just remember, your family and friends want to help you down the path to wedded bliss, even if their questions just bring you agita!

My recommendation to you is to do a few things. When you're ready to begin the planning process, you should first think about how many guests you want to invite to share in your day. Next, you should come up with an overall budget for your wedding, including money to be received from all sources including contributed by you and your fiance. Armed with these 2 pieces of information, you should contact a wedding planner and take it from there. S/he will help you define your style and theme, and help you locate the perfect venue(s) for your celebration.

Until next time, happy planning....

Association of Bridal Consultants conference

Just a few short weeks ago, I attended my 6th annual Association of Bridal Consultants' conference which was held in Orlando. Every year since becoming a wedding planner, I have attended conference -- to meet other planners worldwide, to get up to date with the trends, to learn more about the industry and to interact with new vendors on the corporate level. This year, with over 500 attendees, the conference was even more exciting and informative than ever!

Let me share some great info with you!

Sandals and Beaches - luxury-included resorts in the Caribbean. I continued my training with Sandals and Beaches and have renewed my Certified Sandals Specialist designation, so I can help anyone out there with honeymoons, weddings, or vacations to these wonderful resorts. I have been to nearly all of the Sandals and Beaches properties on Jamaica, and can say without reservation (some travel humor!) that the resorts are impeccably maintained and offer so many diverse activities and restaurants that you will always be experiencing something new...or you can simply relax by the pool everyday, and no one will interrupt you! Sandals and Beaches have teamed up with Preston Bailey and Sylvia Weinstock for their wedding packages, and Preston is introducing 2 additional packages soon! If you want to go away and be pampered, without having to pull out your wallet ever, contact me and I'll book a great vacation for you at one of these great resorts!

David Tutera - Disney wedding packages. David Tutera was the featured speaker at the conference, and a small group of us were able to go with him to the wedding pavilion on the Disney property followed by a reception at the Contemporary Resort. David has developed a line for Disney that is young, hip and trendy - perhaps not what you would think of as a Disney wedding! The packages are customizable, so you can take the "bones" of the design and put your own spin on it. David is so creative, I'm sure you will want to check out his line - and who doesn't love Disneyworld for a great honeymoon?! Feel free to contact me for more information about this exciting new collaboration!

Mary Dann - celebrity wedding planner. Mary Dann has been featured on television shows such as Whose Wedding Is It Anyway? and Platinum Weddings, not to mention her contributions to national wedding magazines. She is launching a line of stationery, with beautiful papers and verses. I spent about 1 1/2 hours talking with Mary, and can definitely say that she has inspired me to be a better person and consultant. Her outlook on life is so positive, and she views every challenge as an opportunity to grow, which is what I'm trying to incorporate into my life as well. If you're interested in Mary's stationery, contact me or go to www.marydann.com.

Until next time, happy planning...

Attitude of Gratitude

Thanksgiving weekend is almost over. In our house, that means that the turkey leftovers have been devoured, there's some leftover vegies, and we have a lot of house to clean. For Thanksgiving, we had both my husband's and my whole family over - 13 adults, 3 kids under age 10, and 1 baby. That meant a lot of coordination to get hot food on the table at the same time!

I was very thankful that I was able to share the holiday with my grandparents and my sister-in-law's infant, and the generations in between. After all, family is what makes life worth living - and so interesting. Also, I was extremely grateful that all of the courses made it to the table hot and delicious. I was happy that we were able to invite close friends to the table as well - not relatives by blood, but family nonetheless.

Now, believe me, I do NOT live in a Norman Rockwell painting. My family has interpersonal relationship issues that rival the best of them. But I choose not to dwell on the bad things, but rather to change what I can to improve the situation for everyone. I have found that it's my attitude that affects my mood - and the atmosphere around me, so I choose to see the best in the situation and try to make others see it from a happier perspective as well. My family is not perfect, but I'm grateful that we were able to be together, even just for one day.

My gratitude extends beyond the holiday, however. I am so grateful that I decided to leave law firm life and start Bride Ideas and now I have the privilege of helping young couples as they begin their lives together. I adore putting weddings together -- all of the planning, decisions, creativity -- it certainly can be stressful, but it is so rewarding to me. When I see a newly married couple smiling and enjoying being with their family and friends, without having to deal with the details, I know that I have chosen the right way to help others.

Until next time, happy planning ...

Time: The Great Equalizer

I recently heard or read somewhere that the only constant for every single person on earth is time. No matter how rich or poor you are, tall or short, fat or skinny, the one thing that we all have in common is that there are only 24 hours in the day. It's how we choose to use those precious 24 hours that sets each one of us apart.

Now, before you were engaged, you probably had a routine. Get up for work or school, go to work or school, do homework, eat dinner, meet up with friends, go to sleep. Whatever your routine, you managed to fill up your time pretty full, I would imagine.

However, then came the ring and the life-changing question. All of a sudden, your full routine has been turned on its head. It has been estimated that it takes about 180 hours to plan a wedding on your own. That equals, roughly, adding in another month to plan your wedding -- over and above your other obligations!

Some people relish doing this - giving up their free time to research vendors. Others choose to hire wedding consultants, such as myself, to help alleviate the time crunch that comes with planning a wedding. No matter how you try, you simply cannot create more hours in a day, so you may want to consider hiring a professional to give you back life's most precious resource.

Until next time, happy planning...

Corn Maze

Now that autumn has finally arrived, I've been out and about enjoying fall activities. I just returned from an event at a corn maze. No, it wasn't a wedding - but it certainly was fun and challenging!

What does a corn maze have to do with wedding planning, you ask? Actually, there are some similarities! At the beginning, everyone is very excited to enter - then as you go through it, you get confused and lost - shortcuts can lead you down unexpected and unwanted paths - then you finally find your way to the end - and when you get out, you want to do it all over again!

The best way to get through the maze of wedding planning is to have a plan. I work with my clients to create an engagement timeline, a plan of what tasks need to be accomplished every month. This plan allows everyone to be on the same page, and avoids taking a "wrong turn." There is no need to burn out during wedding planning, so long as you work your plan! Remember that you are planning a celebration of your love, but don't forget to take time to have fun along the way!

This post may be a bit corny (pun intended!), but I hope it gave you a different perspective on your wedding plans!

Until next time, happy planning....

Saying "thank you"

Just imagine - your wedding day went perfectly, and your honeymoon was a very welcome retreat for you and your new husband. Two blissful weeks on an island, with nothing and no one to bother you except for the wait staff asking if you want a refill. Life is great!

Now you're back home, trying to get adjusted to your new life as a married couple. One of the first things that should be on your to do list is to write thank you notes to everyone who came to your wedding and/or sent you a gift. Also, every vendor who made your wedding so special would certainly appreciate hearing from you. I know that writing thank you's can be tedious, but it's as necessary as buying your wedding gown!

The best way that I've found to get this task done is to make a list of every gift you received and who gave it to you, together with your guest list that contains everyone's address. Make 1 copy of each list and then divide the list between you and your spouse. Then, start writing your thank yous!

A good thank you note doesn't have to be long. Three sentences should be more than enough! Start out by thanking the person/couple for coming to your wedding and for giving you such a generous gift. (NOTE: ALL gifts are generous in a thank you card!) The next sentence should let the person/couple know how you intend on using their gift. And then, the final sentence should thank them again, and tell them that you hope to see them soon. That's basically it!

Just one thing to keep in mind. Thank you notes should be handwritten and personalized to each person. It's just tacky to have your photographer make you up thank you cards with a verse pre-printed! Worse yet, to have your names pre-printed too! Either inserting a wallet-sized photo or having your photographer print up your photograph on the outside of the card - these are GREAT! But, please, don't take the easy way out when doing your thank yous! With all the special touches you included in your wedding, you don't want to lower the bar now!

Until next time, happy planning ...

Picking a theme

One of the first things to be decided upon, once you have secured your wedding venue(s), if the "theme" of the wedding. Sometimes, even, this decision is made prior to finding the venue(s), as the theme may dictate what locations you look at. So, the "theme" of your wedding is integral to how you proceed throughout your planning process.

Now, what exactly constitutes a "theme"? Well, it can be very simple -- the colors of your wedding. The theme can be the color scheme; the color of the bridesmaid dresses, the basic flower colors, linen choices, etc.

Sometimes, the "theme" is more elaborate, however. Getting married on the beach? Consider carrying the nautical theme throughout - including your save-the-dates, invitations, bridal party attire, menu cards, linens, centerpieces. Are you having your wedding in a garden setting? The theme can evolve into a Garden Tea Party. Are you just in love with roses? Your theme could be just that - roses - where the invitations are in the shape of a rose, your bridesmaids wear rose colored dresses, and your centerpieces are bowls of water with floating roses.

To start, you want to choose 2-3 colors that you will use throughout your wedding. More than that, and the feel may be more frenetic than you want. Once that's decided upon, then you can see if you want to go farther and incorporate a monogram or a motif that can be repeated on all the paper used for the wedding as well as possibly used in the favors, escort cards, etc. The sky's the limit for your creativity!

Until next time, happy planning ...

"Substitute Planner"

This weekend, I was asked to take over a wedding and be the wedding planner by another planner who had a family emergency come up. I received the request on Thursday night, followed by an email of the wedding day timeline and a conversation with the bride and groom on Friday morning. Under the circumstances, the bride and groom were very understanding and spent some precious time with me going over the fine details of their plans. I also spoke with all of the vendors and confirmed last minute issues. Then, Friday night I attended the rehearsal and Saturday was their wonderful, beautiful wedding.

I have to admit, it was rather difficult stepping in at the last minute and trying to grasp everything that needed to be accomplished in such a sort time frame. It was rewarding, as well, when the bride and groom entrusted me with their details and I made sure they came to life. The newlyweds were able to relax during their celebration and enjoy their day - leaving all the logistical issues to me. And their thank you's at the end of the night let me know that they truly appreciated their "substitute planner."

It certainly was flattering to be contacted by another planner to take over and represent her during this wedding celebration. Being recognized by another, highly respected, professional in my field and having her trust me to carry out her plans was gratifying.

This experience, however, certainly pointed out some important issues that you need to keep in mind when you're planning your own wedding. Of utmost importance, you should ask your wedding planner about her back-up should something unforeseen occur. My backups are other wedding planners that I know through the Association of Bridal Consultants -- and my assistant for the wedding. I always work with an assistant, someone who is learning about how to become a wedding planner, and that person is well-versed on the wedding beginning about 1 month prior. So, having a more experienced planner coupled with my assistant - or even my assistant becoming the lead on the wedding day - means that each one of my clients is well cared for on their special day should something happen to me.

Until next time, happy planning...

Favors

One question that most of my couples grapple with concerns favors. What is a good favor? Should it be one per couple or one per guest? Should a favor even be given at all?

The history behind favors goes back centuries. Since a wedding was considered a lucky occasion, the happy couple shared their luck and appreciation of their guests by way of small gifts of candies, representing fertility, health, wealth, happiness and longevity.

Today, favors come in all sorts of shapes and sizes. Some couples choose to make a donation to a favorite charity in their guests' names (which, by the way, is tax deductible) and give out the organization's bracelets as their favors. Some couples choose a favor that comports with their wedding's theme or a favorite activity. Others forego this tradition, preferring to spend the money elsewhere in the celebration.

There is no right or wrong when it comes to your decision regarding favors. Frankly, I always recommend a donation or something edible, so that the guests will appreciate your thoughtfulness. Mini-bottles of wine, chocolates, cookies all make wonderful favors - their packaging can also be part of the favor! A lovely cookie placed in a hand-painted box that goes with your theme is always appreciated!

The question of whether to give one favor per guest or per couple is usually determined based upon your budget. Believe it or not, favors often cost $5 or more per piece. No one will be upset if you give out mini bottles of wine to each couple - they will simply toast to your new life together!

Until next time, happy planning...

Timing

They say that timing is everything. Timing is when you meet your future spouse. Timing is when you find your first house. Timing is when you ... well, you get the picture!

In wedding planning, timing is one of the first details that you'll face. The overall timing picture - will you get married in the summer or fall, winter or spring? Once you make that decision, it's on to deciding which particular month will be the best for you. Then, you get more specific - on which day of the week do you want to celebrate with your family and friends. Next you zero in on the actual date - let's say, Saturday, August 9, 2008 (which just happens to be my 10 year anniversary!).

Now, you may think you're home free with the timing thing once you've picked your exact date, right? Well, not exactly. You now move onto deciding when, exactly, on your date that you will be married and when your reception will be held. Now, this can be tricky. You don't want to have too long of a time in between ceremony and reception or your guests will get bored, lost, or worse yet - will simply skip the ceremony! However, you don't want to have too short of an in-between time or else you and your new spouse (and bridal party) won't be able to enjoy the cocktail hour because you'll be getting your photos taken -- not to mention a rushed break-down and set-up time for your vendors! I hope I've given you some food for thought to make the timing of your wedding just right!

Until next time, happy planning...

Security

This post is going to deal with a topic on which I've just received a crash course: security. Like insurance, security may be a "necessary evil" depending upon where you choose to have your wedding, or some of the players in it.

Let me tell you what happened this week: I had a client meeting at their wedding venue in Newark at 7:30 pm. I parked in a lot - albeit an open-air lot that I knew would not be attended upon my return. However, I bargained that parking in the lot was a better alternative to simply parking on the street. Well...when I returned to my car around 9:30 pm, I found my passenger side window smashed and my GPS unit stolen. No fun!

I spoke with my clients about this, and we are going to take extra security precautions at their wedding. Although there is a valet service provided, we are going to look into hiring security guards to patrol the parking lot during the wedding, just so that the guests (and me!) will feel extra safe.

This is just one example of how security may be advisable for a wedding. Think about where you are going to be celebrating your big day - could people enter your room without being noticed and grab something off the gift table? Do you have an ex who may want to intrude on your reception and make a scene? Now, my purpose here is NOT to scare you, but rather to make you think about a topic that you may have overlooked in your planning. So, I hope it gives you food for thought!

Until next time, happy planning...

Budgeting, part 2

Back to the realities of weddings -- if only lace and tulle were free! Every one of my clients has a budget; some may be larger than others, but no one doesn't have a total amount in mind to spend on their wedding. While Eva Longoria & Tony Parker, and Tom & Katie, may have spent over 2 million on their weddings, they still had budgets to stick to and, if we could ask them, probably had wanted more of something but decided against it because it was outside of their budgets!

So how to get the most bang for your wedding buck, so to speak? First, look to yourselves. What's important to you? Are you foodies - then spend a bit more on the reception site. Are you dance-a-holics - then invest in a superior band. Did you go to FIT - then your gown may be your splurge. Spend a bit more on your passion, but keep in mind that not everything can be your passion!

Another way to stretch your dollar is to make a statement - instead of having little centerpieces on every table, have 1 major one in the center of the room. Or have things do double duty, such as decorations in the church being moved to the reception room.

The best budget idea: hire a wedding planner! While it's true I, as a wedding planner, charge my clients a flat fee, it's also true that I can save my clients money. Sometimes I save them a lot of money by knowing the industry and certain tricks of the trade. I do not accept referral fees from vendors, and ask that the commission be given directly to my couples, so they see their savings directly. Other times the savings is by ideas. I try to recommend less expensive alternatives to achieve the same look and feel for the wedding. For example, if my client wants a very expensive designer gown, I can recommend a seamstress that can create a similar dress for much less money.

But the truth is, you are the ones responsible for your budget! My job is to recommend budget-friendly vendors and to remind you of your expenses - and to offer choices. Your job is to love each other, remember that your wedding day is a celebration of your love, and to share your happiness with your family and friends in a fiscally responsible way. As a wedding consultant, I'm not here to spend your money (although I certainly can do that!) but rather I'm here to assist you along your wedding journey in as happy and stress-free manner as possible.

Until next time, happy planning...

Budget-Busters

I've been doing a lot of weddings this season, and one constant -- no matter the size of the budget -- is the concern about money and expenses that seems to grow exponentially as the wedding day draws nearer. Given the amount of money being spent for the wedding, I can totally understand my clients' concerns; the average wedding in my neck of the woods is about $40,000. However, budgeting from the beginning, and being disciplined enough to stick to the budget, is the key to relieving this sort of stress at the 11th hour.

As soon as a client hires me for full-service assistance, I give them a survey that I've created over the years. This survey asks all sorts of questions, from the general (how much do you have to spend on your wedding?) to the specific (do you want disposable cameras at your wedding?). This survey helps me create what I've deemed an "engagement blueprint." Based on their answers, I develop a budget that breaks down the overall amount into each vendor category. That way, when I recommend vendors, I only recommend those that fit within their budgetary parameters. And, every month, I send out an email that includes an updated budget based upon actual, contracted amounts.

That said, clients still go over-budget. Why, you ask? Human nature!! Really, when a client goes and meets with a band, for example, I remind them of their budget for music for everything (ceremony, cocktail hour and reception). The entertainment company also asks for this figure so they only show the bands that fit within their budget. But, of course, they are salespeople and they show the 8-piece band that is totally fantastic and fits right in their budget. The next thing, though, is they show the same band with an extra percussionist, horn section and singer, making it a 12-piece band -- the couple falls in love with them and hires them, knowing they are over their budget but figuring they will "make it up" with another vendor. But they never do!

So, my advice is to figure out how much you have to spend on your wedding from all sources -- parents, grandparents, your own savings, etc. Take that total number and divide it among all of the vendors that will be involved in your wedding, leaving a line for "misc." and another one for "tips." Then, try your hardest to stick within each line item!!! As time goes on, it gets more difficult to "make up" any overages and then you find yourself stressing about money the day before you walk down the aisle. I'll write more about this topic next time.

Until then, happy planning...

Bride Ideas Turns 5!

It's so hard for me to believe that Bride Ideas is now in its 5th year of helping engaged couples on their way to being married!

Back in 2002, I was working full-time as an attorney in a large NJ law firm in its civil litigation department. I was not happy with my job - stressed all of the time and not feeling any fulfillment even when my client won and, with my help, actually was paid $2 million. I just didn't get any satisfaction out of my job. So, I returned to the exploration of wedding planning as an alternate career. I had started this research a few years before when I was getting married in 1998, but at that time, we were just buying a house and I had only been practicing law for 4 years in NYC. Fast-forward to 2002 and the time seemed right to make the move!

I created Bride Ideas in July of 2002 and began taking a correspondence course from the Association of Bridal Consultants. I attended a couple of one-day seminars and in November attended the 3-day national conference for the Association of Bridal Consultants which was held in Phoenix that year. I did all of this while maintaining my full-time position as an attorney and billing the required 180 hours a month. When it came time for me to start working with my first bride, I was very lucky - she was another attorney at my firm who agreed to keep my secret while I helped her plan her wedding!

Since then, I "went public" at the law firm - and went to part-time status for a while before finally leaving altogether in 2004. Believe me, I never looked back! I find helping you, guiding you, recommending new ideas to you, all the while being creative yet very detail oriented to be my calling. I feel like a million bucks when my brides walk down the aisle (on time!), looking absolutely radiant, knowing that the only thing she has to remember is to say "I do!"

So, looking back on the first 5 years of Bride Ideas is fun - especially since I can see how far I've come. But I'm more excited looking ahead to all of the new and wonderful people that I will meet and assist along their wedding journey! Like you!

Until next time, happy planning...

What to Expect at Your Initial Meeting with Bride Ideas

I'm so happy to meet you! During our initial meeting, we'll discuss a variety of things -- your hopes and dreams for your wedding, where you are in your wedding planning process, even how you met! I try to ask questions that allow me to begin to get to know both of you, and your preferences for your big day. Do you want a band or a DJ? Have you thought about a color scheme? Believe me, there are no right or wrong answers to my questions - even "I don't know" is perfectly right! I treat this initial meeting as a "getting acquainted" session.

And while I'm getting to know you both, you are getting to know me as well. I'll admit it right here in print: I'm a terrible, horrible saleswoman! I don't try to do the hard sell, because I hate that done to me. I don't try to scare you into thinking you can't live without me for the next year while planning your wedding. Pretty much what you see is what you'll get from me during your engagement period. I'm pretty low key with a good sense of humor. I try to give you all the options and then let you choose how you want to go. I'm not the Wedding Police, but I do let you know the "proper" way to do things - then let you decide whether to ignore etiquette's rules. During this meeting, I'll also go over the packages that I've developed over the years and give you all the options to create your own custom package of services from me.

I love meeting with prospective clients - because I know that, hopefully, we'll soon begin planning your wedding and I'll get to know another wonderful couple embarking upon the most exciting journey of their lifetime. I feel that I can offer a stress-free planning and wedding (well, as stress-free as possible!), and I truly want to share my knowledge with you. So, when we meet and I say that I'm happy to meet you, I hope that you know I'm being sincere!

Until next time, happy planning...

NY Times article about wedding planners

A week ago on Sunday, the NY Times ran an article about wedding planners. It starts: "Saying 'I do' to a wedding planner can be the second most important vow a newly engaged couple makes." The article goes on to describe the good and the bad about wedding planners -- how some planners truly assist the engaged couple, while others hinder the process. The focus of the article leaned toward the latter, as that's more "newsworthy"; however, I totally agree with what the article said.

One couple hired and fired 2 wedding planners, calling them "planzillas." (This couple eventually successfully used a 3rd planner for their wedding.) One issue this couple pointed out was the fee for one of the planners was a percentage of the total wedding budget; the couple felt that as their budget went up, so did the planner's fee, and there was no incentive to keep costs under control. This is true - I have struggled with my fee structure (and continue to do so!) over the years, but I have always maintained that a flat fee is the most appropriate way to go, for just this very reason. Another couple in the article complained about their planner's lack of accessibility and that her ideas were all about the planner rather than the couple. I believe this goes to the professionalism of the planner, and her training and passion for the industry. When you truly love what you do, you want to be there for your clients - to guide them through the wedding planning process and bring out their ideas, which may be 180 degrees different from your own!

The article also pointed to a sad fact in the wedding planning industry - Marcy Blum, a NY planner, was quoted as saying "a lot of wedding planners are entering the field with no training, so buyer beware." I could not agree more! I've heard many a bride say that she is ready to be a wedding planner to others with nothing more than her own wedding as experience! Wedding consulting should not be considered a "hobby" or "side job." As a wedding professional, I take my full-time job very seriously. I have taken many courses through the Association of Bridal Consultants and other organizations, and built an extensive vendor network over the past 5 years. My company is run as a small business, with all the legal, insurance and tax implications that brings. When you are looking for a wedding consultant to guide and assist you, don't be penny wise but dollar foolish! This is only the most important day in your life thus far -- hire a true professional to make your dreams come true!

Until next time, happy planning...

A New Look for Bride Ideas

I'm so excited to share with you all the new things that have been going on here at Bride Ideas over the past few months. Behind the scenes, I've been working really hard to update the look of Bride Ideas' logo and website. Launching tomorrow (hopefully!), you'll see my updated Bride Ideas website, featuring my new logo, new colors, new content -- a whole new Bride Ideas!

The reason behind this major change is that I've been told over and over that I provide my clients with fun, hip, happening advice and ideas. However, my previous logo and website simply didn't convey the truth about my services - so it was time to update!

Plus, I'd had Bride Ideas' website up for about 5 years, with just minor tweaks to it. It's really amazing at how far technology has come in this short time frame; "cutting edge" design 5 years ago is now considered "old" or "passe"! So, I asked my web designer to conform my site to my new logo AND to design a brand new site. Keep your eyes peeled for my new site, www.rhondaweddings.com to be launched sometime in early fall!!

I hope you enjoy the new look of Bride Ideas' site. I'll keep you up to date on all of the changes over here, but always know there will be no change in the high quality of service I provide!

Until next time, happy planning ...

What to discuss with your Church

Many of my clients choose to be married in their house of worship - a place they (or at least the bride) have been attending for several years. Other clients decide they want to be married in a church, even though they are not members. Either way, there are some very important issues to keep in mind if you're getting married in a church.

Usually, a church will have rules governing most every aspect of your wedding ceremony. Most notably, photographers and videographers will be regulated in some form. I've worked at churches that do not allow any photography at all during a ceremony, and other churches that simply limit where a photographer/videographer can stand. You must ask your church secretary/administrator about the rules and pass them along to the appropriate people.

Other church-related issues to keep in mind are decorations. Where can the florist decorate and when will the florist be allowed into the sanctuary to set up? These two very important questions need to be answered before talking with your florist - imagine paying for several large flower-laden arches to go across and up the aisle, only to find out at the last moment that the florist can only gain access to the church 1/2 hour before the ceremony begins!

The church may or may not provide an organist and/or soloist/cantor, so that's also a question you need to ask up front. There may be rules against your guests throwing birdseed, rice and even rose petals. Most churches do not provide programs for your ceremony, so if you want your guests to have this memento, you will need to provide it. Finally, make sure to ask your church if there are any musical restrictions - you don't want to be surprised to learn the day before your wedding that you can't use "Here Comes The Bride" as your processional! If you use all of these tips, your church ceremony will go off without a hitch!

Until next time, happy planning ...

Mr. Whiskers goes to the vet

OK, I'm admittedly going off-topic today. You see, my black-and-white 5-year old cat, Mr. Whiskers, has been taking up some of my time lately. We recently took him to our vet, and he told us that, among other things, Mr. Whiskers has severe gingivitis. The vet recommended that he pull 4-5 teeth as a result. The surgery was scheduled, but I wasn't feeling all that good about having so many teeth pulled from such a young cat. So, we took him for a second opinion.

To make a long story short, the 2nd vet agreed about the severity of the gingivitis but didn't feel that any teeth should be taken out since the teeth are not loose and Mr. Whiskers didn't appear to be in any pain. This second vet said that gingivitis may be caused by a type of bacteria and she drew a blood sample to check. On Friday, we got the results -- sure enough, he has the bacteria and soon will be on an antibiotic regimen to take care of the problem! Amazing that poor Mr. Whiskers could have lost 5 teeth when all he really needed was an antibiotic!

Now, I'm not sure how this story ties in with wedding planning. All I can say is that if someone recommends something that you don't feel is 100% what you want to do or how you feel a situation should be handled, stop and think. Perhaps seek other counsel. Who knows, after weighing all the options, you may end up with a totally unexpected, but much better, outcome!

Until next time, happy planning ...

Working with your wedding planner

Congratulations! You're engaged to your soul mate AND you've hired a wedding consultant to help you navigate the wedding-planning maze. You've just taken 2 huge steps toward becoming part of a married couple!

Now what? It's time to create a plan that will include all of the things that have to be accomplished before your big day. Just as with your relationship with your future spouse, working with your wedding planner requires open lines of communication. If you have visions of purple dancing in your head, tell your planner! If you don't want to even get a sniff of a rose on your wedding day, tell your planner! If you want some members of your wedding party to sing a song during your wedding ceremony, tell your planner! If you ran off to Vegas and got married there - but still want to have another ceremony and reception at home to share with your family and friends, tell your planner!

Why am I urging you to tell your planner every minute detail -- even ones that you feel are "small" or "not worthy of telling your consultant"? Because every detail fits into the overall plan of your wedding, and may impact upon other plans without your even considering it. For example, if you want special friends to sing a song during your ceremony, special arrangements may need to be made with the ceremony musicians to set up a run through (which may mean there could be an extra charge for the musicians to do this), the officiant may need to approve the song/singers, not to mention the program should include their names and the song they are singing. Try to tell everything to your planner as the ideas come to you or, at least, are being discussed and look likely -- this way all the corresponding details can be ironed out weeks or months before your wedding.

Wedding consultants are not magicians nor mind readers, no matter how much we covet those titles! Keeping the lines of communication open -- this goes both ways, your planner should be in constant touch with you as well! -- is a key ingredient to having the wedding of your dreams.

Until next time, happy planning ....

Block-booking hotel rooms

One of the many questions I'm asked by my clients is about reserving rooms for their wedding guests. As soon as you decide upon the location of your ceremony and reception site(s), you can start this relatively simple process.

Step #1 -- Choose at least 2 different hotels that are close by. I recommend that you select 1 higher-end and one moderately-priced hotel, to accommodate your guests' varying budgets.

Step #2 -- Visit both hotels to make sure they are up to your standards. Check out the lobby, restaurants, amenities, and ask to see a standard room.

Step #3 -- Once you're confident that your selections are a good fit, ask to speak with the Group Sales Manager (or some such title). That person will walk you through the process to reserve a block of rooms, at a discounted rate for your guests. You may or may not be required to sign a contract for the block; if you do have to sign one, make sure to read it carefully to make sure you are not liable for any fees, including indemnification provisions!

Step #4 -- Tell your guests!! Either in your save-the-date information, by email, on your wedding website or in your invitations, let your guests know that you have block-booked rooms for them. Tell them the telephone number they must call and under what name they must reference in order to get the discounted rate. Don't forget to let them know the deadline - most hotels release the block back into the main reservation system about 1 month before your wedding date!

Keep in mind that some hotels will give you a free room (or even suite) if your block is filled. (Most room blocks are for 20 rooms.) Of course, your wedding consultant can help you out with all of these steps - usually taking over all of the legwork!

Until next time, happy planning...

Of birthdays and parties

Well, allow me to go slightly off-topic today and talk about my weekend - which did not include any wedding-related activities. In fact, I didn't even turn on my computer the whole weekend! You see, it was my birthday on Friday and I celebrated all weekend long. On Friday, my husband Mike took me out to see Spiderman 3 and then we went to a club with a bunch of friends from our dojo (where we both practice Brazilian Jiu Jitsu). Saturday, we had a big party at our house - some friends who live in Virginia and Maryland stayed over. After a fun brunch, they left and my husband and I drove to my Mom's and went out to dinner with them. Boy, am I tired!!

Sometimes, though, you just have to stop and enjoy your friends and family - rather than only planning for the future! (You knew I'd have to tie this post into wedding planning somehow, right?!) I had so much fun with my long-time friends, some of whom I've known since the 3rd grade. There also were surprises, like when my BJJ sensei stopped by with some of his friends, including Rigan Machado (8th degree black belt and world champion). Not to mention Mike's beautiful present of a charm bracelet. It was a wonderful weekend!

As a wedding planner, I am constantly planning, making lists, attending meetings and offering advice. It's so easy to get wrapped up in thinking about your wedding day, planning for it and dreaming of it, that you miss all the little things going on around you. So, in this Spring, pick a day and just enjoy all that nature has to offer. Turn off your cell, leave your computer behind, and have fun. You'll be all the more recharged come Monday, and have great memories that make you smile!

Until next time, happy planning ....

Reality Check

Over the past few years, we have become inundated with reality TV. From The Amazing Race to Survivor and The Apprentice, reality TV is a big industry now -- affording networks relatively low budget shows that can mean ratings success. Just ask Fox - with its goldmine of American Idol.

Now, don't get me wrong, I love watching some of these shows. Our TV is regularly tuned to American Idol, and I get a guilty pleasure from watching The Bachelor! But there also are many wedding-related reality shows that I'm sure you're glued to: Whose Wedding Is It Anyway? started the trend, that is now being followed by Bridezillas, The Real Wedding Crashers, Real Weddings, A Wedding Story...the list goes on and on.

When I watch reality wedding shows, I do so with a critical eye. And so should you! Some of these makeover shows that promise a million-dollar wedding on a $5000 budget - and the wedding looks amazing! - are simply scary to me. What you don't see, or are not informed of, is that the shoestring budget is supplemented by donated gifts and labor. In order for the budget to stay so low, vendors simply give things to the couple. In real life, "giveaways" do happen, but on a much smaller scale. If you tried to go out and duplicate some of the "low budget" weddings shown on TV, I suspect that the real life budget would be at least 4 times the amount anticipated. So, please keep watching reality shows for their ideas and for inspiration, but remember, it's a TV show!

Until next time, happy planning ....

Class over!

I just finished teaching a course at the Montclair Adult School, titled "The Art of Planning Exceptional Events." I had 13 students in my class and, over the 4-week session, we covered all sorts of topics related to event and wedding planning. Everyone really enjoyed themselves, and started (or continued) their education into this exciting field.

In teaching this course, I learned a lot as well. I was forced to "break down" the many different areas involved in planning so that I could explain them to the class. In so doing, I was reminded why certain steps have to be taken first, rather than just jumping into the whole planning process at once. While my students gained an introductory education into planning, I also gained a deeper understanding of the "art" as well as the "science" of planning major milestones. And, I believe, I became a better wedding planner by being forced to think through all of the steps and details!

Of course, seeking education is important. For those just starting in the wedding planning industry, the best thing to do is take courses and learn how to run your business. For those of us who have been doing planning for a while, taking courses is equally important because you always are learning!

Until next time, happy planning ...

The Purrfect Day

I'm going to go slightly off wedding-topic today and write about something else that's near and dear to my heart: my 3 cats. Yesterday was Nutmeg & Phantom's 4th birthdays (they are litter mates). Mr. Whiskers' birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks; he'll also be 4. These 3 cats really give me and my husband a run for our money -- always trying to get into places they know they're not supposed to go, hiding when they know we want them to come out, playing shy around our friends. But they are great companions, sitting on our laps and purring at the end of a hard day. And boy can they sleep!

We were very fortunate because we - luckily - hadn't fed the cats with the tainted pet food that's been in all the headlines lately. Of course, our cats didn't even know of the health scare and have continued on their merry, mischievous ways. In fact, Mr. Whiskers is literally lying across my arms as I try to type this blog!

But I think we can learn a lot from our pets. Speaking on behalf of my 3 cats, they are most contented when they are around the people that they love, and who love them back. They are not afraid to show affection, and be playful. They don't worry about what can go wrong, but rather fully enjoy what is right, in the moment. So, take a cue from 3 cats in New Jersey, and appreciate what's going right in your lives, leaving for another hour the hassles with the reception site, caterer or musician! After all, there's no need "to save up all the fun" for your wedding day -- go out and enjoy just being with your fiance right now!

Until next time, happy planning ...

Toasting The Night Away

I recently experienced a 20-minute toast given by the best man at a wedding. Twenty minutes. Wow.

During the speech, several guests left the reception room, many of whom asked me to "do something" to end the toast. Not to mention the caterer whose next course was delayed due to the extended speech. Of course, there was nothing that I could do but sit and wait for the speech to come to an end. Which it did - eventually - and to a very rousing round of applause from the guests.

Now, the best man is the groom's cousin, he is in his very early 20's and this was the first wedding he had ever attended. And the newlyweds were extremely happy with the kind words he said, and all of the preparation it took. But, guests at a wedding do not expect to sit through such a long dedication during the reception and were not paying attention to the speech to enjoy it. The same type of situation also occurs when too many people give toasts to the bride & groom.

So what can be done to stop the long-speech-giver, or the fifth (or twentieth) person to take the mic and give a toast? Take these few simple steps to ward a potential drag on your reception:

• Designate up to 4 people to give a toast, and tell the DJ or Band leader not to let anyone else take the mic
• Speak with the people you have chosen to give toasts, and ask them to keep their speeches under 5 minutes - there are websites that can even help!
• Remind those that are giving speeches to speak clearly so that even Grandma Rose can understand them!

Until next time, happy planning...

When Bad Weather Happens

Usually, you pick the date for your wedding about 1 year ahead of time. Sometimes, the date is selected 2 years ahead - or even 2 months. But, in any case, the weatherman hasn't given their forecast yet. So, you choose a date based upon a special anniversary, astrological charts, or just when your favorite reception site is available. And then you hope for the best weather possible.

But sometimes it snows in April, or a hurricane comes through in July. As a wedding planner, I try to control all of the possibilities and make contingency plans. The one thing I simply cannot do is control the weather! And no matter how many times you refer to the Farmer's Almanac, or look at the 10-day weather forecast, Mother Nature has a way of surprising us.

So what can you do? For starters, ALWAYS have a Plan B in case of inclement weather when any part of your wedding is going to be outdoors. That includes photos outside - always think about where you can take them if the weather just isn't cooperating. This way, your wedding will run smoothly when your wedding coordinator tells all the vendors that you've decided to go with Plan B (also, you need a deadline for when you'll make the Plan B Call - make sure to leave enough time for all the vendors to set up!).

If the weather is dangerous, and not simply inconvenient -- then you need to work with your wedding coordinator and the venue to make the correct choice. Usually, if a hurricane is coming through, or a Nor'easter is threatening the blizzard of the century, you'll have this information at least a couple of days ahead. It's important to make sure that all of your guests will be able to drive to and from your reception safely. You may want to postpone your wedding or see if the caterer will lower the minimums because of the weather forecast. Or, perhaps you can get your guests to the reception site a day or so earlier and extend your celebration! Unexpected storms can make for some creative solutions -- one that will make your wedding day even more memorable!

Until next time, happy planning ...

Your Wedding Gown

A wedding gown. The most perfect dress in the world that shows off your figure to a "t" and is so stunning that it takes the groom's breath away. An ethereal vision, or a princess's statement. So many thoughts float in your head when someone simply mentions your wedding gown.

But, how does a bride find that perfect dress? While this may seem as simple as going to a bridal salon, it actually entails a bit more planning and preparation! First, timing. You should look for your dress about 9 months or so before your big day. There's a technical explanation for this, but the short answer is that it can take a dress maker that long to make your gown. So, about 9 months before your wedding date, call the bridal salon you want to visit and make an appointment. That's step one.

Other considerations are color and style. Yes, I said color! Not everyone walks down the aisle in a white gown -- many brides choose to add a splash of color to their dress by way of ribbons and sashes. Some other brides choose to wear a gown that's off-white, cream, blush, or even red! And styles range from sleeveless to halter to long sleeves, drop waisted, no waist, and even backless. Before you go crazy with all of the possibilities, consider the style of your wedding and where it's being held. For instance, for a beach wedding you wouldn't want to be wearing a heavy gown - which would be appropriate for a winter wedding in a mansion. If you want color, think about whether you want color as an accent or to make a bold statement. Keep these details in line with your overall theme of your wedding. As for the style, think about what looks best on your body type, and take advise from the assistants at your salon who may be able to bring you your perfect dress just by taking in your body shape and coloring! Then, have fun trying on the gowns and believe me, you'll know when you find THE ONE.

Until next time, happy planning ...

Selecting and working with a DJ

When it comes time for you to select the entertainment for your reception, one option is a dj. But how do you know which DJ is right for you?

When interviewing a DJ, a few things to keep in mind is how do your personalities mesh, and what sort of style do you want for your reception? Are you looking for a club-like atmosphere, where the DJ is a prominent personality throughout the evening? Or do you want someone who is more in the background, playing music and only introducing important dances? Do you want someone who will involve all of your family and friends with Conga lines, giveaways and dances? Talented DJs can adapt to the type of crowd you have at your reception in order to get them up and dancing, and having a good time. I've worked with 1 DJ many different times and each time he seems like a totally different person -- he adapts to the party rather than having the party adapt (which it won't!) to him.

Once you've hired your DJ, you need to make out 2 lists. One is of all the important dances -- your first dance, parent dances, bouquet and garter tosses, cake cutting, etc. The other list is probably even more important: the do not play list! Here, you write down all the songs that you absolutely, positively do not want to hear on your wedding day. You can be specific, such as "Chicken Dance," or more general, like "all organized dance songs." One list that you do not, and actually should not, prepare is a play list. I've had couples try to give their DJs a play list of songs, in order, that they want to hear -- this is not a good idea for several reasons, not the least of which is that a DJ is a live person and can read your crowd and will know how to get them up and dancing. If the DJ is limited to playing the songs you selected, there's no room for the human touch. You hired the DJ, so you should let him or her do the professional job they are trained to do!

Until next time, happy planning ...

Why hire an independent wedding consultant?

When you go to a wedding facility, such as a hotel or a hall, many times they have someone designated as a "wedding consultant" on staff. So, why should you consider hiring an independent wedding consultant such as myself? There are many reasons to think about!

An independent wedding planner (or wedding consultant, or bridal consultant, whatever title is being used) is your advocate from the day he or she is hired until your wedding day. That person will recommend to you the best vendors for your style and budget, and will guide you through the planning process -- keeping you on track with all of the many details such as ordering favors, designing guest books and creating programs as well as keeping you on budget. Also, your independent wedding planner will create a wedding day timeline and coordinate with all of your vendors prior to your big day. On the day of your wedding, that person will be at your house (or wherever you are dressing) to keep to the schedule, will fluff your dress as you walk down the aisle, will make sure your ceremony and reception sites are set up just as you envisioned them, and will run interference among your vendors, your families and yourselves throughout the day.

By contrast, a facility's "wedding coordinator" is in charge of making sure the food and beverage service runs smoothly during your reception. If you are having your ceremony at that venue, the facility's coordinator will make sure the chairs are set up and also may assist in lining you up to walk down the aisle, if she or he is in attendance on your day. Prior to your wedding, the facility's coordinator may give you a generic list of some vendors and meet with you to discuss the hall's menu options, linen choices, cake styles, and so forth.

In corporate terms, your independent wedding coordinator is your wedding's "project manager" and is in constant contact with with the facility's coordinator, band leader, florist, photographer, videographer, stylist, bridal salon, officiant, invitation designer, favor maker, baker, etc., in order to bring your wedding dreams to reality. The facility's coordinator is an important team member for your wedding, as that person is the in-house liaison between you and the facility. But your independent wedding consultant is the point person for all of the vendors; that person filters the many inquiries, gathers required paperwork/insurance certificates, disseminates timelines and directions and, in general, reduces your stress levels by taking care of the tiny details.

Until next time, happy planning ...

"Day Of" Coordinator

I get many, many inquiries from brides for a "day of" coordinator. While this term has been popularized in the media, it really has no meaning -- or application -- in the bridal industry.

What? Of course a "day of" coordinator just can be hired to supervise everything you've planned to make sure your day runs perfectly smoothly. All that person needs to do is look over your notes and contracts, maybe attend your rehearsal so s/he can meet the key members of the wedding party and, voila, your day will be flawless. Oh, and for such magical service (consisting of maybe 12 hours of work), the fee should be somewhere around $500-$800. Right? WRONG!

What I'm about to say may be controversial, but it's true. No one can provide this type of service. Or, rather, those that claim to do so are not professionals, nor do they provide a service.

A wedding coordinator is the couple's advocate on their wedding day. The coordinator "speaks" for the bride and groom on such issues as reception room set up, musical requests, spotlight dances, entree service, etc. Just one of the jobs I do during a wedding is answer a myriad of questions from all of the vendors about how "Sue & Dave" want this particular item carried out. I speak for my clients so that they do not have to be bothered on their big day. Who wants to be taken off the dance floor to be asked whether the main course should be served in 10 minutes?

In order for me properly to be able to respond to these questions, I have to know my client's wishes. The only way I feel comfortable in knowing my client's wishes is to have spent quality time with them going over their dreams for their wedding. Therefore, about 1 month before the wedding, I create the wedding day timeline and meet with my client to go over all the details. I also attend the final meetings with the vendors who will be providing service on their wedding day, such as the reception hall, entertainment, photographer, etc. I then coordinate with all of these vendors the week of the wedding, so that everyone is on the same page. In this way, I feel as if I have learned about my client and am confident that I can speak on their behalf on their big day.

I am not alone in speaking out against the term "day of" coordinator. At the last ABC Conference in Colorado Springs, we had a big brainstorming session about it, and the consensus was that most everyone's "day of" package is really a "month of" service. Keep in mind that professional wedding planners gladly will assist you with the finishing touches for your wedding, but that we need to know your wishes in order for you to receive the best benefit of our services. Which is why "day of" coordination is a misnomer at best, and a potential disservice to you at its worst.

Until next time, happy planning ...

Compromise

I've been thinking a lot about compromises this week. Everyone says that a marriage is all about compromises -- and that's the truth!

For example, on Saturday, my husband asked me to go with him to a Mixed Martial Arts fight (Rumble in Rahway). Now, we've both been taking Brazilian Jiu Jitsu for about 6 months now, so I do have a background in the sport, and 2 of the competitors were from our dojo. However, seeing 2 guys climb into a cage (yes, CAGE) and fight - box, kickbox, grapple - was not my idea of a fun Saturday night out! But my husband is such a great guy and helps me out so much, I decided to go with him. Much to my surprise, I had a great time! And both of the guys from our dojo won their matches!

What I'm trying to point out here, is that compromise can lead you to unexpected experiences that you really enjoy. And, believe me, compromises don't start after you're married. It's important to open those lines of communication during your engagement - after all, the bride is not the only one of the pair getting married! Discuss all the decisions with each other, and you may just be surprised at the wonderful outcome. Maybe the china pattern isn't the bride's first choice, but with the groom's imput, it will be perfect for your couple's dining room. Perhaps the venue for your reception wouldn't have been on the top of your list, but maybe the one you find together will exceed your expectations. Just listen to each other, and be willing to compromise.

Until next time, happy planning...

Back from Jamaica

My husband and I just went to Jamaica for a very quick 4 day getaway to an all-inclusive in Ocho Rios. While it was snowing here in NJ, we were enjoying the sun and sand -- and the wonderful amenities offered at the all-inclusive. Rum punch, anyone?

While most of my clients' honeymoons are much longer than this 4-day stay, I wanted to pass along some helpful advice:

(1) If you can, add in a couple of days for the travel. It literally took us 12 hours door-to-door to get to and from Jamaica (we couldn't get a direct flight from Newark Airport), so our 4 day stay really turned into 2 full days in Jamaica.

(2) Plan ahead! Check out your resort's website before you go (and PACK), as there may be events going on while you're there that require a different dress code than shorts and flip flops. Also, some restaurants at your resort may require more formal attire.

(3) Try to remember all of your toiletries. We ran out of dental floss and went to the gift shop to purchase one; they wanted $7 for 1 container of dental floss! Needless to say, we skipped the purchase.

(4) Make copies of your important documents and credit cards and take one set with you while leaving another set at home. Also, leave your itinerary with someone at home as well. Hopefully you'll never have to refer to the copies.

(5) Make sure that your passport will be in effect at least 6 months after your return. Apparently, there's a US regulation that could cause you a big headache at Customs if your passport is due to expire in less than 6 months.

Hope these tips help! Until next time, happy planning ...

Band Showcases

I just returned from a bridal show that had 2 bands doing live showcases. I think this is a great way to see and hear bands that you may be considering for your wedding. You get to hear snippets of songs performed in front of a live audience (you!), and can gauge audience reaction, sound quality, performer interaction -- all from the comfort of your chair. The only better way to experience a band is to be a guest at a wedding or event where they are playing.

The other ways to "audition" bands are not so attractive, in my opinion. There's the internet, but sound and audio clips are not the best quality, usually. The promotional materials (such as DVDs and CDs) that a band sends out, unless taped "live," may be edited and the actual performance may not live up to it. Then there's going to another wedding where the band is playing, standing in the back and listening. I think this is so unprofessional; the band has been hired by the couple to entertain their guests, not to bring in outsiders and book more gigs!

So, if you're in the market for a band, check out their website for any upcoming showcases they may be doing in your area. Then, make a date and go enjoy the show!

Until next time, happy planning . . .

Follow the leader

Every one of my clients tells me that one of their goals for their wedding reception is for their guests to have a good time. When I press them to define a "good time," many couples reply that they want their guests to eat really good food and for them to be up and dancing to the entertainment they selected. So, I make recommendations to them for the best reception sites and/or caterers and great bands and djs. The couples then go and select from my recommendations -- the platform is set for everyone at the wedding to have a "good time," right?

Wrong! There is one more ingredient that must be taken into account - one that can't be as easily selected as a good band. It's the guests themselves! You must think about who will be attending your wedding -- their ages and personalities. Are most of your guests older family members who prefer to sit and talk with other relatives that they haven't seen in a while, or are they twenty-somethings who go clubbing every weekend? For the most part, the guests will drive how the party unfolds. However, YOU, the bride & groom, can set the stage, so to speak. If you want a packed dance floor all night, make sure that you are leading the dance sets! Guests follow the bride & groom's lead, so go out and enjoy yourselves and everyone else will join you on the Conga line!

Until next time, happy planning ...