I'm going to go slightly off wedding-topic today and write about something else that's near and dear to my heart: my 3 cats. Yesterday was Nutmeg & Phantom's 4th birthdays (they are litter mates). Mr. Whiskers' birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks; he'll also be 4. These 3 cats really give me and my husband a run for our money -- always trying to get into places they know they're not supposed to go, hiding when they know we want them to come out, playing shy around our friends. But they are great companions, sitting on our laps and purring at the end of a hard day. And boy can they sleep!
We were very fortunate because we - luckily - hadn't fed the cats with the tainted pet food that's been in all the headlines lately. Of course, our cats didn't even know of the health scare and have continued on their merry, mischievous ways. In fact, Mr. Whiskers is literally lying across my arms as I try to type this blog!
But I think we can learn a lot from our pets. Speaking on behalf of my 3 cats, they are most contented when they are around the people that they love, and who love them back. They are not afraid to show affection, and be playful. They don't worry about what can go wrong, but rather fully enjoy what is right, in the moment. So, take a cue from 3 cats in New Jersey, and appreciate what's going right in your lives, leaving for another hour the hassles with the reception site, caterer or musician! After all, there's no need "to save up all the fun" for your wedding day -- go out and enjoy just being with your fiance right now!
Until next time, happy planning ...
Monday, April 2, 2007
Monday, March 26, 2007
Toasting The Night Away
I recently experienced a 20-minute toast given by the best man at a wedding. Twenty minutes. Wow.
During the speech, several guests left the reception room, many of whom asked me to "do something" to end the toast. Not to mention the caterer whose next course was delayed due to the extended speech. Of course, there was nothing that I could do but sit and wait for the speech to come to an end. Which it did - eventually - and to a very rousing round of applause from the guests.
Now, the best man is the groom's cousin, he is in his very early 20's and this was the first wedding he had ever attended. And the newlyweds were extremely happy with the kind words he said, and all of the preparation it took. But, guests at a wedding do not expect to sit through such a long dedication during the reception and were not paying attention to the speech to enjoy it. The same type of situation also occurs when too many people give toasts to the bride & groom.
So what can be done to stop the long-speech-giver, or the fifth (or twentieth) person to take the mic and give a toast? Take these few simple steps to ward a potential drag on your reception:
During the speech, several guests left the reception room, many of whom asked me to "do something" to end the toast. Not to mention the caterer whose next course was delayed due to the extended speech. Of course, there was nothing that I could do but sit and wait for the speech to come to an end. Which it did - eventually - and to a very rousing round of applause from the guests.
Now, the best man is the groom's cousin, he is in his very early 20's and this was the first wedding he had ever attended. And the newlyweds were extremely happy with the kind words he said, and all of the preparation it took. But, guests at a wedding do not expect to sit through such a long dedication during the reception and were not paying attention to the speech to enjoy it. The same type of situation also occurs when too many people give toasts to the bride & groom.
So what can be done to stop the long-speech-giver, or the fifth (or twentieth) person to take the mic and give a toast? Take these few simple steps to ward a potential drag on your reception:
- Designate up to 4 people to give a toast, and tell the DJ or Band leader not to let anyone else take the mic
- Speak with the people you have chosen to give toasts, and ask them to keep their speeches under 5 minutes - there are websites that can even help!
- Remind those that are giving speeches to speak clearly so that even Grandma Rose can understand them!
Until next time, happy planning...
Sunday, March 18, 2007
When Bad Weather Happens
Usually, you pick the date for your wedding about 1 year ahead of time. Sometimes, the date is selected 2 years ahead - or even 2 months. But, in any case, the weatherman hasn't given their forecast yet. So, you choose a date based upon a special anniversary, astrological charts, or just when your favorite reception site is available. And then you hope for the best weather possible.
But sometimes it snows in April, or a hurricane comes through in July. As a wedding planner, I try to control all of the possibilities and make contingency plans. The one thing I simply cannot do is control the weather! And no matter how many times you refer to the Farmer's Almanac, or look at the 10-day weather forecast, Mother Nature has a way of surprising us.
So what can you do? For starters, ALWAYS have a Plan B in case of inclement weather when any part of your wedding is going to be outdoors. That includes photos outside - always think about where you can take them if the weather just isn't cooperating. This way, your wedding will run smoothly when your wedding coordinator tells all the vendors that you've decided to go with Plan B (also, you need a deadline for when you'll make the Plan B Call - make sure to leave enough time for all the vendors to set up!).
If the weather is dangerous, and not simply inconvenient -- then you need to work with your wedding coordinator and the venue to make the correct choice. Usually, if a hurricane is coming through, or a Nor'easter is threatening the blizzard of the century, you'll have this information at least a couple of days ahead. It's important to make sure that all of your guests will be able to drive to and from your reception safely. You may want to postpone your wedding or see if the caterer will lower the minimums because of the weather forecast. Or, perhaps you can get your guests to the reception site a day or so earlier and extend your celebration! Unexpected storms can make for some creative solutions -- one that will make your wedding day even more memorable!
Until next time, happy planning ...
But sometimes it snows in April, or a hurricane comes through in July. As a wedding planner, I try to control all of the possibilities and make contingency plans. The one thing I simply cannot do is control the weather! And no matter how many times you refer to the Farmer's Almanac, or look at the 10-day weather forecast, Mother Nature has a way of surprising us.
So what can you do? For starters, ALWAYS have a Plan B in case of inclement weather when any part of your wedding is going to be outdoors. That includes photos outside - always think about where you can take them if the weather just isn't cooperating. This way, your wedding will run smoothly when your wedding coordinator tells all the vendors that you've decided to go with Plan B (also, you need a deadline for when you'll make the Plan B Call - make sure to leave enough time for all the vendors to set up!).
If the weather is dangerous, and not simply inconvenient -- then you need to work with your wedding coordinator and the venue to make the correct choice. Usually, if a hurricane is coming through, or a Nor'easter is threatening the blizzard of the century, you'll have this information at least a couple of days ahead. It's important to make sure that all of your guests will be able to drive to and from your reception safely. You may want to postpone your wedding or see if the caterer will lower the minimums because of the weather forecast. Or, perhaps you can get your guests to the reception site a day or so earlier and extend your celebration! Unexpected storms can make for some creative solutions -- one that will make your wedding day even more memorable!
Until next time, happy planning ...
Monday, March 5, 2007
Your Wedding Gown
A wedding gown. The most perfect dress in the world that shows off your figure to a "t" and is so stunning that it takes the groom's breath away. An ethereal vision, or a princess's statement. So many thoughts float in your head when someone simply mentions your wedding gown.
But, how does a bride find that perfect dress? While this may seem as simple as going to a bridal salon, it actually entails a bit more planning and preparation! First, timing. You should look for your dress about 9 months or so before your big day. There's a technical explanation for this, but the short answer is that it can take a dress maker that long to make your gown. So, about 9 months before your wedding date, call the bridal salon you want to visit and make an appointment. That's step one.
Other considerations are color and style. Yes, I said color! Not everyone walks down the aisle in a white gown -- many brides choose to add a splash of color to their dress by way of ribbons and sashes. Some other brides choose to wear a gown that's off-white, cream, blush, or even red! And styles range from sleeveless to halter to long sleeves, drop waisted, no waist, and even backless. Before you go crazy with all of the possibilities, consider the style of your wedding and where it's being held. For instance, for a beach wedding you wouldn't want to be wearing a heavy gown - which would be appropriate for a winter wedding in a mansion. If you want color, think about whether you want color as an accent or to make a bold statement. Keep these details in line with your overall theme of your wedding. As for the style, think about what looks best on your body type, and take advise from the assistants at your salon who may be able to bring you your perfect dress just by taking in your body shape and coloring! Then, have fun trying on the gowns and believe me, you'll know when you find THE ONE.
Until next time, happy planning ...
But, how does a bride find that perfect dress? While this may seem as simple as going to a bridal salon, it actually entails a bit more planning and preparation! First, timing. You should look for your dress about 9 months or so before your big day. There's a technical explanation for this, but the short answer is that it can take a dress maker that long to make your gown. So, about 9 months before your wedding date, call the bridal salon you want to visit and make an appointment. That's step one.
Other considerations are color and style. Yes, I said color! Not everyone walks down the aisle in a white gown -- many brides choose to add a splash of color to their dress by way of ribbons and sashes. Some other brides choose to wear a gown that's off-white, cream, blush, or even red! And styles range from sleeveless to halter to long sleeves, drop waisted, no waist, and even backless. Before you go crazy with all of the possibilities, consider the style of your wedding and where it's being held. For instance, for a beach wedding you wouldn't want to be wearing a heavy gown - which would be appropriate for a winter wedding in a mansion. If you want color, think about whether you want color as an accent or to make a bold statement. Keep these details in line with your overall theme of your wedding. As for the style, think about what looks best on your body type, and take advise from the assistants at your salon who may be able to bring you your perfect dress just by taking in your body shape and coloring! Then, have fun trying on the gowns and believe me, you'll know when you find THE ONE.
Until next time, happy planning ...
Saturday, February 24, 2007
Selecting and working with a DJ
When it comes time for you to select the entertainment for your reception, one option is a dj. But how do you know which DJ is right for you?
When interviewing a DJ, a few things to keep in mind is how do your personalities mesh, and what sort of style do you want for your reception? Are you looking for a club-like atmosphere, where the DJ is a prominent personality throughout the evening? Or do you want someone who is more in the background, playing music and only introducing important dances? Do you want someone who will involve all of your family and friends with Conga lines, giveaways and dances? Talented DJs can adapt to the type of crowd you have at your reception in order to get them up and dancing, and having a good time. I've worked with 1 DJ many different times and each time he seems like a totally different person -- he adapts to the party rather than having the party adapt (which it won't!) to him.
Once you've hired your DJ, you need to make out 2 lists. One is of all the important dances -- your first dance, parent dances, bouquet and garter tosses, cake cutting, etc. The other list is probably even more important: the do not play list! Here, you write down all the songs that you absolutely, positively do not want to hear on your wedding day. You can be specific, such as "Chicken Dance," or more general, like "all organized dance songs." One list that you do not, and actually should not, prepare is a play list. I've had couples try to give their DJs a play list of songs, in order, that they want to hear -- this is not a good idea for several reasons, not the least of which is that a DJ is a live person and can read your crowd and will know how to get them up and dancing. If the DJ is limited to playing the songs you selected, there's no room for the human touch. You hired the DJ, so you should let him or her do the professional job they are trained to do!
Until next time, happy planning ...
When interviewing a DJ, a few things to keep in mind is how do your personalities mesh, and what sort of style do you want for your reception? Are you looking for a club-like atmosphere, where the DJ is a prominent personality throughout the evening? Or do you want someone who is more in the background, playing music and only introducing important dances? Do you want someone who will involve all of your family and friends with Conga lines, giveaways and dances? Talented DJs can adapt to the type of crowd you have at your reception in order to get them up and dancing, and having a good time. I've worked with 1 DJ many different times and each time he seems like a totally different person -- he adapts to the party rather than having the party adapt (which it won't!) to him.
Once you've hired your DJ, you need to make out 2 lists. One is of all the important dances -- your first dance, parent dances, bouquet and garter tosses, cake cutting, etc. The other list is probably even more important: the do not play list! Here, you write down all the songs that you absolutely, positively do not want to hear on your wedding day. You can be specific, such as "Chicken Dance," or more general, like "all organized dance songs." One list that you do not, and actually should not, prepare is a play list. I've had couples try to give their DJs a play list of songs, in order, that they want to hear -- this is not a good idea for several reasons, not the least of which is that a DJ is a live person and can read your crowd and will know how to get them up and dancing. If the DJ is limited to playing the songs you selected, there's no room for the human touch. You hired the DJ, so you should let him or her do the professional job they are trained to do!
Until next time, happy planning ...
Monday, February 19, 2007
Why hire an independent wedding consultant?
When you go to a wedding facility, such as a hotel or a hall, many times they have someone designated as a "wedding consultant" on staff. So, why should you consider hiring an independent wedding consultant such as myself? There are many reasons to think about!
An independent wedding planner (or wedding consultant, or bridal consultant, whatever title is being used) is your advocate from the day he or she is hired until your wedding day. That person will recommend to you the best vendors for your style and budget, and will guide you through the planning process -- keeping you on track with all of the many details such as ordering favors, designing guest books and creating programs as well as keeping you on budget. Also, your independent wedding planner will create a wedding day timeline and coordinate with all of your vendors prior to your big day. On the day of your wedding, that person will be at your house (or wherever you are dressing) to keep to the schedule, will fluff your dress as you walk down the aisle, will make sure your ceremony and reception sites are set up just as you envisioned them, and will run interference among your vendors, your families and yourselves throughout the day.
By contrast, a facility's "wedding coordinator" is in charge of making sure the food and beverage service runs smoothly during your reception. If you are having your ceremony at that venue, the facility's coordinator will make sure the chairs are set up and also may assist in lining you up to walk down the aisle, if she or he is in attendance on your day. Prior to your wedding, the facility's coordinator may give you a generic list of some vendors and meet with you to discuss the hall's menu options, linen choices, cake styles, and so forth.
In corporate terms, your independent wedding coordinator is your wedding's "project manager" and is in constant contact with with the facility's coordinator, band leader, florist, photographer, videographer, stylist, bridal salon, officiant, invitation designer, favor maker, baker, etc., in order to bring your wedding dreams to reality. The facility's coordinator is an important team member for your wedding, as that person is the in-house liaison between you and the facility. But your independent wedding consultant is the point person for all of the vendors; that person filters the many inquiries, gathers required paperwork/insurance certificates, disseminates timelines and directions and, in general, reduces your stress levels by taking care of the tiny details.
Until next time, happy planning ...
An independent wedding planner (or wedding consultant, or bridal consultant, whatever title is being used) is your advocate from the day he or she is hired until your wedding day. That person will recommend to you the best vendors for your style and budget, and will guide you through the planning process -- keeping you on track with all of the many details such as ordering favors, designing guest books and creating programs as well as keeping you on budget. Also, your independent wedding planner will create a wedding day timeline and coordinate with all of your vendors prior to your big day. On the day of your wedding, that person will be at your house (or wherever you are dressing) to keep to the schedule, will fluff your dress as you walk down the aisle, will make sure your ceremony and reception sites are set up just as you envisioned them, and will run interference among your vendors, your families and yourselves throughout the day.
By contrast, a facility's "wedding coordinator" is in charge of making sure the food and beverage service runs smoothly during your reception. If you are having your ceremony at that venue, the facility's coordinator will make sure the chairs are set up and also may assist in lining you up to walk down the aisle, if she or he is in attendance on your day. Prior to your wedding, the facility's coordinator may give you a generic list of some vendors and meet with you to discuss the hall's menu options, linen choices, cake styles, and so forth.
In corporate terms, your independent wedding coordinator is your wedding's "project manager" and is in constant contact with with the facility's coordinator, band leader, florist, photographer, videographer, stylist, bridal salon, officiant, invitation designer, favor maker, baker, etc., in order to bring your wedding dreams to reality. The facility's coordinator is an important team member for your wedding, as that person is the in-house liaison between you and the facility. But your independent wedding consultant is the point person for all of the vendors; that person filters the many inquiries, gathers required paperwork/insurance certificates, disseminates timelines and directions and, in general, reduces your stress levels by taking care of the tiny details.
Until next time, happy planning ...
Monday, February 12, 2007
"Day Of" Coordinator
I get many, many inquiries from brides for a "day of" coordinator. While this term has been popularized in the media, it really has no meaning -- or application -- in the bridal industry.
What? Of course a "day of" coordinator just can be hired to supervise everything you've planned to make sure your day runs perfectly smoothly. All that person needs to do is look over your notes and contracts, maybe attend your rehearsal so s/he can meet the key members of the wedding party and, voila, your day will be flawless. Oh, and for such magical service (consisting of maybe 12 hours of work), the fee should be somewhere around $500-$800. Right? WRONG!
What I'm about to say may be controversial, but it's true. No one can provide this type of service. Or, rather, those that claim to do so are not professionals, nor do they provide a service.
A wedding coordinator is the couple's advocate on their wedding day. The coordinator "speaks" for the bride and groom on such issues as reception room set up, musical requests, spotlight dances, entree service, etc. Just one of the jobs I do during a wedding is answer a myriad of questions from all of the vendors about how "Sue & Dave" want this particular item carried out. I speak for my clients so that they do not have to be bothered on their big day. Who wants to be taken off the dance floor to be asked whether the main course should be served in 10 minutes?
In order for me properly to be able to respond to these questions, I have to know my client's wishes. The only way I feel comfortable in knowing my client's wishes is to have spent quality time with them going over their dreams for their wedding. Therefore, about 1 month before the wedding, I create the wedding day timeline and meet with my client to go over all the details. I also attend the final meetings with the vendors who will be providing service on their wedding day, such as the reception hall, entertainment, photographer, etc. I then coordinate with all of these vendors the week of the wedding, so that everyone is on the same page. In this way, I feel as if I have learned about my client and am confident that I can speak on their behalf on their big day.
I am not alone in speaking out against the term "day of" coordinator. At the last ABC Conference in Colorado Springs, we had a big brainstorming session about it, and the consensus was that most everyone's "day of" package is really a "month of" service. Keep in mind that professional wedding planners gladly will assist you with the finishing touches for your wedding, but that we need to know your wishes in order for you to receive the best benefit of our services. Which is why "day of" coordination is a misnomer at best, and a potential disservice to you at its worst.
Until next time, happy planning ...
What? Of course a "day of" coordinator just can be hired to supervise everything you've planned to make sure your day runs perfectly smoothly. All that person needs to do is look over your notes and contracts, maybe attend your rehearsal so s/he can meet the key members of the wedding party and, voila, your day will be flawless. Oh, and for such magical service (consisting of maybe 12 hours of work), the fee should be somewhere around $500-$800. Right? WRONG!
What I'm about to say may be controversial, but it's true. No one can provide this type of service. Or, rather, those that claim to do so are not professionals, nor do they provide a service.
A wedding coordinator is the couple's advocate on their wedding day. The coordinator "speaks" for the bride and groom on such issues as reception room set up, musical requests, spotlight dances, entree service, etc. Just one of the jobs I do during a wedding is answer a myriad of questions from all of the vendors about how "Sue & Dave" want this particular item carried out. I speak for my clients so that they do not have to be bothered on their big day. Who wants to be taken off the dance floor to be asked whether the main course should be served in 10 minutes?
In order for me properly to be able to respond to these questions, I have to know my client's wishes. The only way I feel comfortable in knowing my client's wishes is to have spent quality time with them going over their dreams for their wedding. Therefore, about 1 month before the wedding, I create the wedding day timeline and meet with my client to go over all the details. I also attend the final meetings with the vendors who will be providing service on their wedding day, such as the reception hall, entertainment, photographer, etc. I then coordinate with all of these vendors the week of the wedding, so that everyone is on the same page. In this way, I feel as if I have learned about my client and am confident that I can speak on their behalf on their big day.
I am not alone in speaking out against the term "day of" coordinator. At the last ABC Conference in Colorado Springs, we had a big brainstorming session about it, and the consensus was that most everyone's "day of" package is really a "month of" service. Keep in mind that professional wedding planners gladly will assist you with the finishing touches for your wedding, but that we need to know your wishes in order for you to receive the best benefit of our services. Which is why "day of" coordination is a misnomer at best, and a potential disservice to you at its worst.
Until next time, happy planning ...
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