Lessons from a recent "graduate"

For the past year and a half, I’ve been working as Rhonda’s assistant, helping to make our clients’ wedding dreams come true. During this time, I’ve also been planning my own wedding and have been learning all the tricks of the trade to make sure my own wedding was perfect. My wedding was on August 14 and it turned out even better than I could have imagined. Now that I’ve had some time to reflect on the day, and have “graduated” from being engaged to being married, Rhonda asked if I would be willing to share some of my experiences. Here are the four most important lessons I learned throughout my planning process.

1. No one is going to be as excited about your wedding as you are. Of course, your friends and family are likely thrilled for you and your fiancé and are excited to help you with the planning. But keep in mind, even the most dedicated loved ones are going to get to the point where they simply can’t talk anymore about the relative benefits of peonies over roses, whether you should have fondant or buttercream icing or if you should invite your boss or not. Remember that your friends and family have other things going in their lives too, and while they are excited and happy for you, they want to be able to talk about what’s going on with them and have the same kind of interactions with you as they did before you got engaged. Make sure to keep up with your friends and family and if need be, schedule “wedding breaks” where you agree not to talk about the wedding while you go out and do something fun.

2. Get good vendors. Your vendors can make or break your wedding day. Make sure you choose people that listen to you, that you enjoy working with and make sure to ask for lots of samples of their work. Do not skimp on vendors and settle for someone you’re not entirely comfortable with. It will make all the difference in the world.

3. Say Thank You. If you’re like me, as you get closer to the wedding, you might find yourself asking for more and more help, and those requests may not always be entirely reasonable (take it from me – they’ll seem reasonable to you at the time, but after you’re married and are able to step back from the craziness, you’ll be amazed at everything your family and friends did for you!). Make sure to thank the people who help you – and really mean it. It sounds obvious, but you might not realize what you’re asking of someone. At least let them know that you really appreciate what they’re doing.

4. Relax! We’ve all seen the movies (or perhaps the episodes of Bridezillas) where the bride is getting ready for her big day and has a panic attack, or starts yelling at her bridesmaids and family for no apparent reason. Don’t feel like this is the norm or what’s expected. YOU’RE GETTING MARRIED!!! HAVE FUN!!! Relax with your closest friends – joke, goof around, munch on your favorite snacks and get excited for what’s to come. Hug, laugh, dance, cry tears of joy and treasure every moment. If you’re able to relax, you’ll be able to take everything in so much more than if you’re stressing about last minute details. I’ve been married for over a month already and I’m still basking in the glow of how amazing my wedding was. Your wedding day is going to go by so quickly and you want to be able to enjoy every minute. Don’t waste time by stressing or freaking out. If something goes wrong, deal with it calmly and with grace. Some things are going to be out of your control but that doesn’t mean it has to ruin your wedding day. Resolve the issue as best you can, ask for help if you need it, and get back to the celebrations! You only get one shot at this so relax and let yourself be surrounded by the love and happiness of your family and friends.

Until next time, happy planning…

Music Mania

In honor of Bruce Springsteen's birthday today, I started thinking about the music options that my clients are presented with for their weddings. The choice isn't between a DJ or live band anymore!

When you start thinking about entertainment for your wedding, you need to break your event down into three parts: ceremony, cocktail hour and reception. Sometimes 1 company will handle all 3 parts of the day - but many times, 3 different entertainers are involved (at least!).

Starting from the beginning, your ceremony. If you are having your wedding ceremony at a church or temple, check with your officiant to see if certain musicians are required, and if others may be added. My couples have had full choirs singing, a string quartet accompany the organ - even trumpets! Remember to check with your venue first to see if there are any restrictions before booking! If you are getting married at a garden or other location, ask if your DJ can play your music, or go with keyboards or a guitar; even a steel drum band on the beach!

Once you are happily husband and wife, the next stage is usually a cocktail hour. Once again, you are not limited to the customary pianist - although, live piano music sets a terrific mood! As the cocktail hour is a time for your guests to mingle and catch up, as well as eat and enjoy a nice drink, you don't want to have a rock band playing which will interfere with this. However, a DJ can play great 1940s music, or what about a jazz band? This is also a great time for younger members of the family to play a special piece for the newlyweds, as playing at the reception may be too overwhelming.

Now you're ready to party! Dance the night away with a live band, or a DJ spinning tunes. Or, how about a hybrid - a DJ with a live bongo player spices things up, and also may allow for guests to show off their drumming skills. A special song written and performed by the groom and his band to the bride make for unforgettable moments. Be creative and enjoy dancing the night away!

Until next time, happy planning...

What's the proper way to carry a bouquet?

For my Wedding Trends article this week, I answered 2 questions posed by readers. One - how to carry a bouquet. Two - what's the groom's mother's role in planning a wedding. Both are very interesting topics!

For the bouquet, you may want to stand in front of a mirror and just see what looks the best. A typical bouquet will look very nice carried low, at the waist, slightly pointing forward. I guess the best piece of advice I can give is to relax your arms and keep the flowers low, because that's what looks good in photos.

For the groom's mom, that can be much more touchy! If you're the bride, try to involve your fiance's mother in some aspect of the planning, so she feels included. After all, you are marrying her son! While the main focus of the wedding is on the bride and groom, the celebration is a joining of two families - so start off on the right foot!

Hope you enjoy the article - any comments are welcome!!http://www.newjerseynewsroom.com/style/theres-a-right-way-and-a-wrong-way-to-carry-a-bouquet

Until next time, happy planning...

"Masters of Reception"

Wedding reality shows. They are EVERYWHERE! Bridezillas, Whose Wedding Is It Anyway?, Platinum Weddings, A Wedding Story, GetMarried - the list is endless. I have to be honest, I used to watch these shows with avid attention. Or was it rabid?! I couldn't get enough of them; I almost considered them to be "research"!

But probably a year ago, I just stopped watching them. Don't get me wrong, if a friend of mine was featured on a show, I'd make a special effort to watch (at least most of the show). I think I felt a bit jaded on the shows, with their "made-up" dramas - or, if they weren't made up, they were just pathetic. And, for the sake of the show, someone always was made out to be the villain. Be it the wedding planner, bride, groom, maid-of-honor or perennial favorite, mother of the bride, someone was cast as the bumbling fool of the show. Or extravagant for extravagant's sake. Whenever I was asked to do one of these shows, I always declined as drama is one of the major things I try to avoid on wedding day!

So, when my friends at Frungillo Catering announced they were the subject of TLC's new wedding reality TV show, "Masters of Reception," I dutifully watched the premiere episode. For some reason, it struck me as being new and fresh! Of course, the Frungillo brothers are the center of the show, but instead of casting a villain in the show, they are the wedding heroes! Again, a bit oversimplified but it's so nice to see a show with truly happy couples versus in-fighting and drama.

In my Wedding Trends column, I offered my opinion of this show. Check it out at http://www.newjerseynewsroom.com/style/njs-frungillo-caterers-stars-of-masters-of-reception-on-tlc. (ps-The photo in this blog entry is of Ben Frungillo, me and Jerry Frungillo at an event that I coordinated a couple of years ago.)

Until next time, happy planning!

Wedding Consultant Amanda's Amazing Wedding!

On Friday, I had the pleasure of attending (as a guest!) Amanda's wedding.

Amanda looked fabulous in her gown and was so happy to be marrying Darren! Everyone in attendance joined in the happy celebration, with a packed dance floor all night. The vendors (mostly ones that have worked with Bride Ideas for years) were top-notch, and the wedding was a smashing success!

One thing that really struck me, as a wedding planner sitting on the guest side, was the sheer beauty of the wedding ceremony itself. There's just something magical about the wedding processional - the anticipation before seeing the bride for the first time. Then, as Amanda walked down the aisle with her parents and a gorgeous smile on her face, everyone in attendance just knew that this couple was meant to be!

Amanda has been working with Bride Ideas for a couple of years now, helping on the day of the celebrations. Starting in October, however, she will be a Wedding Consultant for Bride Ideas, assisting our couples as they plan and prepare for their big day! Look for Amanda's blog entries soon!

Until next time, happy planning...

11 year anniversary!!

Hi all! I wanted to take this opportunity to share a personal story with you. Just last Sunday, August 9th, my husband Mike and I celebrated our 11th year anniversary. Eleven years since we got married - the time truly flies by!

For our anniversary this year, we decided to go to Emeril's new restaurant in Bethlehem, PA at the new Sands Casino there. It was about a 1 hour, 20 minute easy drive from West Orange. As we have been to Emeril's other restaurants in Orlando and New Orleans, we were very excited to try out his first place in the Northeast. And the food was great! Service was very good as well! We only wished that the "bam" man was there himself, but we had a great time remembering our engagement day, our wedding day and awesome honeymoon travels. Even after 11 years, the memory of our wedding day is fresh and makes us smile as we remember all the fun we had. So, as you are planning your wedding, keep in mind that you truly are "making memories"!

Until next time, happy planning!

Asked to speak

Hi everyone! In today's blog, I'm going to discuss 5 little words that strike fear into many a person's heart: "Would you give a toast?" Now, I know that public speaking ranks right up there with paying taxes and death as the most enjoyable activities on the planet, but how could you refuse a heartfelt request like that? I was just asked to speak about wedding planning before a teachers' group in Central Jersey in October, so I know the panic that sets in before making a presentation, whether long or short.

When preparing to give a toast (or any public speech), here are some tips that I share with my clients:

• Practice, practice, practice. This does not mean to write down your toast, word-for-word, but rather spend some time going over the topics you'd like to cover. Then, on 1 index card, write down your topics and recite what you're going to say in front of a mirror. You don't want to sound rehearsed, but you also don't want to stammer and just shout "Cheers!"
• Limit your drinks before your toast. There's nothing worse than someone with a mic who is totally wasted, making inappropriate remarks about how gorgeous the groom is (believe me, it's happened!).
• Keep it short and sweet. Try to limit your remarks to 3 minutes or so - share a story about you and the couple, talk about how their love has changed them as individuals, and offer a toast to many years. That makes an excellent toast - and eliminates the need for a hook!

Remember, people are interested in what you have to say - so make your short time count!

Until next time, happy planning!